Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Banned from zoo.
Again?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
