I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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