And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
