There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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