hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
