he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I bet he comes in French.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
