You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
