I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize