Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
