A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
