Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
