I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
