My nipple is on Facebook.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
