the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
