So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize