I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
