What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
wow bdsm is so cute
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