That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
