I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
