just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
