i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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