just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if only i could text you this smell
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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