First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
