He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize