It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I want to fling myself into the sun
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I enjoy the company of your penis
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
