I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
