i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
