Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
