I'm eating all of the evidence.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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