That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
