dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize