the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
