I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The ass gains better be worth it
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