The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
