i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize