i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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