I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize