It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
