Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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