Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
