I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
