they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
