I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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