never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
