if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
