her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
