I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
