his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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