The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize