apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
