grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
