I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
