I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
