That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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