i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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