Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
