or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
