So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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