the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
