I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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