you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
