I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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