I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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