girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I want is dick and wine.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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