i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
