I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
