You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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