some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
