I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize