Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
