Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
