I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
