a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
