Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
