Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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