dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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