i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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