I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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