she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
