And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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