I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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